[Note: Part 3 of a 5-part series. Part 1 is 8/23/10; Part 2 is 8/24/10; Part 4 is 9/17/10. Part 5 coming soon.)
I keep thinking about more things to comment on about Menopause the Musical and more things about the real menopause that bug me.
For instance, in the musical, the Iowa housewife character states—much to the shock-n-awe of the other three female characters—that she has never experienced a hot flash. The other women are soooo jealous! Me, too.
I had heard that some women get lucky that way. They have no idea how lucky. (I recall Oprah saying on her show that she had never had a hot flash. (Do you think you can buy your way out this affliction?)
Depending on the source, it’s estimated that 75-85% of women do suffer from menopausal induced hot flashes. So why isn’t someone studying the non-self-igniting group of women to find out why not?! Every hair on their heads; every drop of blood; every cell in their bodies MUST be scrutinized to find the answer. And hurry up—please!
I’ve done a fair amount of research to learn how to cure hot flashes. As a result I have tried plenty of so-called remedies—mostly of the augment-the-estrogen-level kind of thing. So far nothing works.
I think that’s because my estradiol levels are so low to start with it would take a crane on steroids to raise them. How low are they? Lower than Ye Ol’ Hubby Man’s—and he’s part chimp. In fact, with an estradiol level of 15, progesterone at 1.3, and testosterone at .2, I’m practically hormone-less.
What does that mean? It proves the saying: sexuality is in the mind. OR, I’m a female eunuch and don’t know it!
Here’s today’s physiology lesson: Hot flashes are a brain malfunction—specifically the hypothalamus. This is the part of the brain that controls sleep, appetite, sex hormones, and the body’s temperature. For some reason, the drop in estrogen levels in menopausal women confuses the hypothalamus, which commands the body, “Conjure forth the flames of hellfire!” Immediately the heart, blood vessels, and sweat glands respond and we feel as if we’re thrust inside a blast furnace—or the walls of Hades—for what seems like eternity —even though the average time is two to three minutes.
I read one article that stated a hot flash can continue non-stop up to ONE HOUR! (Now that’s the definition of hell on earth.) To survive that, I’d have to move to Antarctica—and live outdoors.
The creepier part: The time frame for experiencing hot flashes (during your life) can last five to ten YEARS! (This tidbit of info was not mentioned in Menopause the Musical.) I’m on Year 4 but a woman I work with is on Year 10. Hers are so bad that the tops of her hands and the backs of her knees sweat. (BTW, she would be thrilled I am mentioning this…)
Here’s another weird thing about hot flashes (also not mentioned in the musical): some women experience an “aura” before the hot flash ignites. I get these every time. It’s a feeling of unease/malaise/foreboding—a head’s up for about 10 seconds—and then BOOM—a burst of heat engulfs your body and your mind freezes—I guess at the thought of melting into a puddle of protoplasm?
And another 20-30 seconds later, it’s all over—except for a bad atmosphere that lingers—like Kanye West at the VMAs. Whatever mood you were in before the hot flash is not the mood you’ll end up with when it’s passed. You have to reconfigure yourself.
Same thing happens when I’m sleeping. I’m snoozing along just fine and then I wake up fully conscious and I think, “How come I woke up?” And then the “aura” hits me—the dread, the unease, and I think, “Oh, POOH!”
Then BOOM (see above for the rest)…plus rip off the covers, rip off my…oh never mind…
In my quest to rid myself of the debilitating torture device known as the hot flash, I’ve gone another route. Instead of concentrating on estrogen levels, I’m going after the neurons themselves to solve this problem.
I think I may be on to something.
But alas and alack, I’m afraid that this is not the last blog on this subject matter– to be continued in PART 4—and maybe even Part 5?
Stay tuned…
Part 1:
Part 2:
http://fuchsiawoman.com/blog/relate/more-thoughts-on-menopause-the-musical-and-menopause-the-menace/
