There’s one good thing about not traveling this holiday. And no, it’s not the stuffing with raisins, water chestnuts, and oysters. ICK.
It’s that I won’t be groped at the airport by a surly woman with an authority complex. Or made to stand in front of a black screen while a crabby woman tells me what to do with my arms and feet. Is scowling, barking, and pervy behavior part of the TSA employees’ commando training?
Cartoon by David Horsey of Hearst Newspapers
And what’s up with the full body scan “I can see you naked” machine? Last month at San Jose airport when I was forced to get zapped by one, I asked the hostile TSA employee if the machine was like a dental xray. She said no. She lied.
The body scatter machine does emit xrays to reproduce an image of your entire body. Sure the radiation dose is low, but RADIATION IS CUMULATIVE. It never leaves your body. Small doses add up. You get exposed to enough radiation and you may as well have been vacationing in Hiroshima in August 1945.
And if the FDA approved these machines, we should all be worried. Unless your name is Monsanto, the FDA does NOT work for you!
I don’t do dental xrays, mammograms, microwave ovens, or cell phones. They all emit radiation and radiation causes cancer, which IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH.
C’mon Homeland Security, there really has to be a better way than to assume ALL U.S. citizen travelers are terrorists—including the kids?? And what are you going to do with the naked photo of me? Because I understand that they’re stored somewhere. Perhaps in the body cavities of the Too Sleazy Agency. If it ever shows up on the Internet—or in my high school reunion booklet under the heading: “Where are they now?”—I’ll show you how much of a terror I can be.
And tell the gestapo to say, “Say Cheese” before you snap that photo. Because I would not have smiled, but I may have wanted to hold my gut in!
Cartoon by Signe Wilkinson, Philadelphia Daily News.
President Obama – Happy “Turkey” Day indeed to the administration that inspired the phrase: “DON’T TOUCH MY JUNK!”
If you touch my junk, I will have you arrested!