It’s not even December yet but I am already thinking about my New Year’s Resolution for 2011. Last year I made one of the typical “QUIT” resolutions—like quit eating so much crap, quit shopping on-line, quit being lazy, etc. Mine was to quit watching American Idol. Oh brother. Not particularly sophisticated. (The thought behind it was that AI wasted my time and I never have enough time.)
This year, after hearing lectures by Deepak Chopra and Martha Beck in October, I’m striving for something worldlier…more evolved…more akin to my “feminine wisdom” that these two enlightened people said we women have.
Then, after having a bad buying experience on EBay last week (oh brother #2), and then listening to a segment of This American Life, I’ve come up with a self-improvement idea for a possible New Year’s Resolution.
The This American Life story was about a writer guy who was being harassed at his home by a thug. The thug hired three part-time thugs to stand in front of the writer’s house in a menacing manner.
The writer ended up inviting the part-time thugs into his apartment everyday to hang out. They hated the boss thug—but needed the money the “be a thug” job provided.
The writer and the part-time thugs reached a basic level of understanding of each other. The writer realized that after a few weeks of this odd social arrangement, the hired thugs would NOTt have beat him up had the boss thug told them to.
A couple days after this story aired on the radio, I received a used forest green wool Pendleton blazer I had purchased on EBay for $22. The seller did a terrible job measuring the thing (incorrect on 3 of the 4 measurements provided). You’d be surprised how often this happens. (I guess EBay Sellers aren’t familiar with rulers?)
Even though the blazer was very nice, it didn’t fit me at all. I emailed the Seller with a fairly snotty message because of the inconvenience factor, the disappointment factor, the lack of measuring skills, etc. The Seller emailed me back with a snotty (and sarcastic) message of her own—including the annoying “This is the holiday season and you should be nice!” crud.
She refunded my money but did not provide return postage, as she didn’t want the blazer back.
I don’t think the Seller believed me about the bonehead job she did measuring the blazer. So I took photos of the blazer with a measuring tape to show the accurate dimensions and offered to send them to her. She did not respond.
Now the blazer is strewn over the back of a chair in my living room—until I decide what to do with it. Every time I walk by it, I am hit with a tinge of remorse—knowing I could have handled the communications better—meaning less confrontational.
So here’s where my possible New Year’s Resolution comes in. Instead of flying off the handle when I run into a moron (my usual response), I should think: Maybe this person isn’t a moron after all. Maybe this person had a bad day and couldn’t measure correctly. Maybe this person couldn’t find her reading glasses and thought she could see clearly (happens to me all the time!).
I should look for the commonality between us. Like the writer and the part-time thugs did.
I think that would make me a better person.
That would require an old dog to learn a new trick. And for me to change.
Do-able? Hmmm… I have a month to think about it before January 1st. I’ll let you know.
In the meantime, anybody need a dark green one-button blazer for the holidays?
Pendleton blazer from EBay.
One of my measurement photos.
Another measurement.
Roni modeling the infamous green blazer with a vintage Schiaparelli flowered bonnet hat.
