I dreaded wasting my Saturday—and a sunny-n-breezy day to boot—sitting in a classroom at Cabrillo College. I need my Saturdays for chores and errands—or if I blow those off, for catching up on reading or sleeping, or strolling along the beach, or hiking in the foothills, or doing anything but sitting on my rear in a closed space for 8 hours with a bunch of other traffic criminals.
But you speed, you pay the price. For me it cost $270 for the ticket, $30 for the Traffic School option, and $30 to enroll in the class. Total cost: $330—but no points on my driving record. Considering the fact I speed just about every day and haven’t had a moving violation since the 80s, I’ve been lucky.
The hardest part was getting to class before 8:30 AM—because if you’re late, you’re not admitted. So I arrived 15 minutes early just to be sure. Plus, I needed a seat in the back. I brought reading materials, a notebook to write blogs, and a sack of food. When in doubt—eat.
To my amazement, I actually enjoyed the class! First of all there was an industrial-sized vat of coffee (hazelnut blend) and plenty of bathroom breaks. There was also an assortment of cookies. (I ate Oreos for the first time in decades. They’re still delish.)
Secondly, Ernie the teacher was excellent. He’s a Kenny Rogers look-alike as well as a retired Marine/LAPD cop/CHP officer who currently works as an officer for the Santa Cruz Harbor Patrol. He shared some wild stories about his law enforcement experiences. He also told a few corny jokes, like “The Ford Taurus has 12 air bags. And 13 if my mother-in-law is in the car.” (At least he tried to entertain us.) I’m not sure exactly which type of car he mentioned, because for me a car is a car.
Ernie also informed us of some of the new DMV laws. The State of California legislature passes hundreds of traffic laws a year. Hey Boneheads in Sacramento—we’ve got much BIGGER problems than whether or not someone carries a person in his/her trunk.
We also learned safety tips—like what to do in case of a possible head-on collision: swerve into the on-coming traffic lane if you have to (Yikes!)—And which type of seatbelt is the most effective (the kind that has a rolling mechanism and not a jerky one. I didn’t get this part). The importance of seatbelts was highlighted with a film showing how they save lives, including an animated recreation of the traffic accident that killed Princess Diana. (Boy, what a preventable tragedy that was.)
Ernie gave us the financial repercussions of a DUI in CA. The cost is about $12,000 and the loss of your license for four months. You can also receive a DUI if you’re on a bicycle or skateboard, but not a horse. And beware of drinking in Alaska—the cost of a DUI there is about $22,000.
One of the students in class was pregnant. Ernie made sure she understood everything about the use of and laws concerning infant/child carseats. BTW, the LEAST safe seat location is the one directly behind the driver (never stick a child there), whereas the safest seat is in the middle of the back seat. Additionally, there should be at least four feet from the back end of the car and the last row of seats. Anything less will result in serious injury/death should a rear-end collision happen (which account 60% of all accidents).
More facts: 25% of all accidents are caused by distractions, such as cell phones, eating, putting on make-up, fiddling with the radio, talking to a passenger, etc. Number one rule of safety: Never take your eyes off the road. Number two: Drive defensively.
The last bit of info I found valuable was the list of what to carry in your car at all times:
1. paper and pen
2. flashlight
3. flares (at least 10)
4. first-aid kit
5. fire extinguisher
6. jumper cables
7. survival blanket
8. cell phone with a camera
9. can of FixIt flat tire aerosol
10. jug of water (In the event of a head-on collision, passengers may get radiator or battery fluids sprayed in their faces.)
Better to be prepared than not. And better to spend your Saturday outside than in. But if you’re a traffic lawbreaker and have to go to school, Ernie’s class is an interesting way to pay your debt to society.
At the end, on my way out the door Ernie said to me, “See you next time.”
I said, “Oh no! I learned my lesson. No more speeding.”
Today on my way to work I actually did slow down my normal commute speed. Let’s see how long that lasts….
