In today’s USA Today (Section D, Page 1) there’s an article about the rock band Kiss releasing a new album. Ho hum. Never been a Kiss fan. (Cuz I’ve never been an 8th grade boy?) The painted comic-book faces, fire-eating and blood-spitting antics, and especially Gene Simmon’s gross tongue thing—never appealed to me. I like a real rock-n-roll band; not a contrived band. I like decent songwriting. I like my music to be about the music. Kiss music always seemed secondary to the show. But to each his own. Kiss has a legion of fans that have kept the band going successfully for over 35 years—remarkable in the music business.
I have no opinion about the band personally. But I do have an opinion about Gene Simmons. I base this opinion solely on an interview he did in 2002 with Terry Gross on her NPR show, Fresh Air. (The interview was conducted to discuss GS’s new book: Kiss and Make-Up.) First off I have to confess I am a huge fan of TG and her show—with her top-notch interviewing skills and level of discourse and professionalism.
Consequently I was astounded how many times GS sounded like a major-league a-hole in only 26 minutes. And totally pathetic as a man as well.
Let me count the ways: GS was rude, sexist, moronic, insulting, defensive, bombastic, disgusting, arrogant, money-obsessed, juvenile, misogynistic, and so full of himself I expected him to explode and splatter his hedonistic self-importance everywhere. But I’m sure there’s plenty more where that came from.
[Note: I can’t believe Cher had a relationship with this guy. She must have wanted to borrow his high heels. Or I guess after Gregg Allman’s druggie ways, anybody looked good?]
Here’s a beaut of a quote from GS: “If you welcome me with open arms, you welcome me with open legs.”
And another:
“All that matters is money… the most important thing as we know it on this planet is money…money is everything… how much money do I have? a lot more than NPR… you pick up a guitar to get laid and make lots of money… I’m laughing all the way to the bank…”
One more: “If a man says he will be faithful, he’s lying.”
I won’t comment on his “oral appendage” and what he said he could do with it. Ewww.
In the interview, GS bragged about Kiss having 2500 licenses for merchandise (and of course all the money that generated). He said he wanted Kiss to be a rock-n-roll brand, not band. In the USA Today article (seven years later), the number of merchandise items has increased to 3000. I’m guessing that one of the new products that has GS’s face on it is a douche bag. Which in that case, I think douche bags should file a class action lawsuit for defamation of character.
But the WORST part of the interview was when GS boasted about sleeping with 4600+ women. TG asked him how he knew the number. Did he keep track of the women’s names in a book? He said he knew because he took Polaroids of them! And kept them all! And then counted them to include this important piece of information in his book.
Let’s see… Kiss was founded in 1973. The book was written in 2002. That equates to approximately 30 years to accrue his number of sexual liaisons. I don’t know what the population of the U.S. was during those years that included the subset of “women of a consenting age.” But I do know that the subset of women desperate enough, lobotomized enough, or passed-out dead-drunk enough to have sex with GS was nowhere near the 4600 mark. What a bunch of hooey. GS, better check those photos closely. Those weren’t women, pal.
But in all fairness, GS said nice things about his mother. So he isn’t all bad. Just 98%.
If you want to listen to GS speak for himself:
http://www.archive.org/details/TerryGrossInterviewWithGeneSimmons
