Erica Cowan passed away a year ago at the age of 21. I didn’t know about it until recently. This letter is for her mother.
Dear Candy:
A few weeks ago when I was visiting my Dad in O.C., my brother told me Erica had died from a sudden illness. No frappin’ way. I didn’t believe him. Couldn’t be true. Erica was too young to die. She was too alive!
Then when the reality sunk in, I felt sick to my stomach and so heartsick for you. I cannot imagine your sadness.
I kept thinking how Missy Erica was somethin’ else!I’ve been thinking about her ever since…
I thought about the first time I met Erica. I recall sitting at Claire’s kitchen table, the back door opening, a young girl (maybe 7 or 8 years old) wearing glasses, her long hair flying and she ran down the hall and burst into the kitchen area. She was all excited, said something to us, and left just as quickly.
Claire was standing in the kitchen and looked over the bar counter to where I was sitting and said, “That’s Missy Erica.”
We were both amused by her grand entrance and exit. I remember thinking, “Boy, there’s a ball of energy!”
It wasn’t until years later that I figured out “Missy” wasn’t Erica’s first name. But the nickname fit her. It was like a title. Because even as a kid she had a presence about her.
I remember Missy Erica’s high school grad photo. She went from cute to beautiful!
What I remember most and what amazed me most about Missy Erica was her kindness to my Mom when she was in the nursing home in Los Alamitos. Who wants to hang around sick old people? (And a cranky one to boot like my Mom.) Missy Erica did. And my Mom liked her, which believe me was unusual, as my Mom was rather snobby.
I think somewhere deep down in my Mom (past her dementia) she was touched by Erica’s sweetness. I will forever be grateful that Missy Erica visited my Mom and paid attention to her. I thought that was especially remarkable being that she was just a teenager.
It’s a wonderful FaceBook page you put together. Erica touched so many lives. I think the comments and stories have captured her essence. I enjoyed the story about Missy Erica jumping over a backyard fence into the neighbor’s yard to play with some of her friends. Too funny.
I also really liked reading Leah’s posts. Some were heartbreaking. Some cracked me up—like the one about a girl who came into her work and for a brief moment she reminded Leah of Erica Jane. But then she turned out to be a weird-o and Leah wanted to sock her.
You posted Erica’s favorite song, “These Days” by Nico. I listened to it and through Nico’s German accent and dramatic interpretation I thought, “Hey, wait a minute, that’s Jackson Browne’s song!” It’s an incredible song—kinda wistful, about longing and regret. How on earth did Missy Erica come up with that little jewel recorded in 1967?
Dr. Seuss' inspirational book about navigating life and achieving your dreams.
On Erica’s MySpace page she mentioned the Dr. Seuss book, Oh, the Places You’ll Go. That’s one of my favorite books! It has such a positive and realistic message—in a Seusical whimsical and nutty way—about life’s ups and downs and believing in yourself. My favorite line: “KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS.”
Oh, Missy Erica, you’re one of a kind!
Candy, I don’t know why tragedies happen or how you’re supposed to make any sense of them or how you cope or how you move on. Maybe you rely on strength that you didn’t think you had or maybe you just get through one day at a time and finally one day you realize you can heal.
I know you have strong faith. I hope it gives you peace. You probably know Romans 8:28— “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” I don’t think God wants you to suffer and I think he will make something good out of Erica going to heaven way too soon.
On the FaceBook page you said that you think of Erica when you see the sunrise. Leah said that she thinks of her at sunset. Well, I’ll take the night shift. So now we have Missy Erica covered!
No one who met Erica Jane Cowan will ever forget her.
Take care. My best to you and Janey.
Love,
Toni
P.S.I LOVE this photo of Missy Erica. I am fond of the color fuchsia and oh-so-fond of her!
Missy Erica Jane Cowan - A Bright Spirit
