(Note: If you don’t like to read blogs that criticize public figures based on their behavior, this one is not for you.)
Last night around quittin’ time (OK, maybe it was a few minutes before quitting time), three co-workers and I stood around shooting the breeze. We started on the lack of affordable health care and ran the gamut about how dismal the state of the average American is. The general consensus was that our nation is no longer a “government for the American people,” but rather a “government for the American (and foreign) corporation,” mostly of the BIG kind that makes BIG donations and buys BIG influence.
We all agreed that corruption is so BIG in our government and Wall Street that we may have passed the point of no return. Someone said the answer was NEVER vote Republican or Democrat again. Someone else said term limits were a must. Then someone brought up Dick Cheney.
Do NOT get me started on that man. Too late…
“I can’t believe that guy is still alive,” I said. “If he had regular medical care like regular Americans receive, he would be dead by now. I think he has one of the devil’s henchmen inside him. I think Beelzebub Jr. sits in there with a bicycle tire pump and personally keeps his heart beating. That’s why he always looks so sinister. He gives me the heebie-jeebies!”
There are NO Dick Cheney fans where I work. But here is where I lost my colleagues:
I continued:
“Dick is so repellent he’s President’s of the Icky Man’s Club.”
People looked at me weird. Luckily I can read social cues. I shut up.
But really, you’ve never heard of the Icky Man’s Club? You’ve never said to yourself as you watched some ding-dong on TV who got caught doing something despicable (like lying about weapons of mass destruction OR killing dogs for sport), and said to yourself, “Man, that guy’s ICKY!”?
Well, I do—all the time. There are so many that I have enrolled them in the ICKY MAN’s CLUB. Admission requirements: Sickening behavior. Lumping the yo-yos into one group helps me keep track of those who enrage and/or or creep me out.
For instance, the aforementioned Dick (in more ways than one) is a member. So is Karl Rove, John Edwards, Rush Limbaugh*, Bernie Madoff, Max Baucus, Roman Polanski, Newt Gingrich, Woody Allen, Larry Ellison, Bill O’Reilly, the Google Boys, and plenty more.
In addition, there’s the SAD MAN’s CLUB: people who are more pathetic than anything else. This membership includes the likes of Mark Sanford, Jeffrey Skilling, Clarence Thomas, Ted Haggard, Ken Lewis, Larry Summers, and Akio Toyoda.
Then there’s the Used To Be ICKY But Now Are in the SAD MAN’s CLUB: W and John McCain.
Lastly is the USED To Be COOL But Now Are in the ICKY or SAD MAN’s CLUB:
Barack (“I sold out in LESS than one year!”) Obama, Bill Clinton, Rudy Giuliani, Eliot Spitzer, Tiger Woods, Adam Lambert, and Christopher Buckley** (which I had not know about until I did research for writing a blog about my “distant relative” yesterday).
What CLUB am I in? The CLUB NOBODY (wants to be in).
And is there an ICKY WOMAN’s CLUB? “You betcha.” The President: Anne Coulter.***
NOTE:
* Rush Limbaugh deserves a blog of his own—first because I have a personal story about him and second because I discovered a really funny medical condition involving the buttocks region that he had (or still has?).
** I ran across two ‘tawdry’ articles about Mr. Buckley and his failure to take responsibility for his lustful behavior. Three comments:
Hey, Pal, did she hold a gun to your head and surgically extract a sperm donation?
Didn’t your brand of Catholicism teach you to take care of widows and orphans? Or does your brand of Catholicism exempt well-connected-to-the-papal-hierarchy, rich-with-cut-throat-lawyers, snobby snooty socially-elitist MSM bigwig New Yorkers?
At a “family” reunion I’d tell you the same thing and that you’re dangerously close to becoming the President of the ICKY MAN’s CLUB. So shape up and don’t be icky. BE A MAN.
*** Anne Coulter deserves her own blog. She intrigues me with her awfulness. Hasn’t she heard about the twin postulate of: “beautiful inside = beautiful outside” and its opposite? If I were her, I’d be checking the mirror every day to see how much more ugly I’d become.
