As mentioned before, Resolution #1: Quit watching American Idol. (See blog 12/14/09).
Number 2 on the list: Better time management.
This one has an easy solution: Increase the day to 30 hours in length. But since the probability of this happening is iffy, and the 24 hours that are available are already spoken for, good luck with that one.
To accommodate an increased work schedule and to continue writing, I now sleep less. I also exercise and play the clarinet less (not a good thing) and cook less (a good thing for those around me) and clean less (a good thing for the spiders and dust bunnies; I draw the line at rats).
I also drink more. Soy-laced coffee—organically shade-grown fair traded. I hope that is one of the major food groups. And that it erases wrinkles, makes hair shine, and improves memory. A girl can dream….
I think this resolution is DOA.
Also on the Resolution’s list is one that I have thinking about all year: WRITE WHAT I REALLY WANT TO SAY.
This past year I started blogging on other sites (to warm up my blogging muscles for my site). I noticed something about that writing (which consisted of posting comments): 95% of the time I skewed it toward fitting into the generally accepted parameters of a particular audience. Occasionally I let loose about something I was tres mucho very passionate about. But more times I wimped out.
I notice I’m still doing the same things with my OWN BLOG SITE—where I make up the rules myself and I’m pretty much the only audience.
I have avoided writing about certain topics on purpose. I have yet to let fly the explosive cannon balls lurking in the arsenal of my brain where controversial topics are stored. Why? Fear of the return fire of negativity. Again, wuss behavior.
It takes GUTS to write something that you know could be perceived in a negative way or cast dispersions on you and your impeccable character. 
Not from a blog, but here’s an example. In Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott devotes an entire chapter to jealousy, using herself as an example. She tells a story about her jealousy attack over another writer’s success. This could be perceived as a normal human reaction OR as a really icky moral failing that any mature, good-hearted adult should know better than to behave this way.
I always admired that chapter. Sheer GUTS.
Another example: The non-fiction writer and novelist Ayelet Waldman, in a New York Times essay said, “…I love my husband more than I love my children.” Sheer GUTS #2. Boy did the American public rip her to shreds. Caused such a ruckus in the Sacred Motherhood Club that she got invited on Oprah.
Side Note #1: The night I saw David Sedaris in concert (blog 10/29/09) I had dinner at a restaurant in Carmel. At the table behind me two couples talked about books they had enjoyed reading. I eavesdropped and took notes about what they said. Sometimes two-way conversations developed: men to men; women to women.
The men discussed books by Pulitzer-prize winning author Michael Chabon. In particular, they liked The Yiddish Policeman’s Union.
The women discussed Michael Chabon’s wife, Ayelet Waldman. One of them said she “didn’t care for her.” (Not a comment about Ms. Waldman’s writing.) The other one said she wouldn’t read her books because “she’s nutty.” The first one agreed. I think their negativity toward Ms. Waldman was due to her motherhood comment.
Side Note #2: I find it extremely interesting that Ms. Waldman gets hammered for her mother comment, and yet her husband doesn’t get so much as a peep for one of the comments he made in his latest book, Manhood for Amateurs: The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father, and Son.
Chapter two of this book is titled, “The Cut.” It’s about his conflicted feelings and disgust at himself for having his son circumcised.
Here’s the part that caught my eye:
“…but one thing I know for certain, and have known since the age of five or six, is that I really can’t stand the God of Abraham. In fact, I consider Him to constitute the pattern to which every true asshole I have ever known in my life has pretty well conformed.”
When I read that, besides making me laugh, I made a note in the margin: Whoa!
Seems to me that insulting God is WORSE than elevating a spouse over children. I wonder what the reaction would be have been if these two reversed their comments— Mr. Chabon said that he loved his wife more than his kids and Ms. Waldman said she hated the God of Abraham.
I think Mr. Chabon would be fine and Ms. Waldman would be tossed into the shredder again! Me thinks there’s a double standard out there, yes?
When I first heard Ms. Waldman’s infamous comment, I thought it was real. What she said didn’t bother me one single bit. After I heard Ms. Waldman on the NPR program Fresh Air with Terry Gross, I bought her book, Good Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace—in solidarity.
After the dinner in Carmel, I bought her novel, Love and Other Impossible Pursuits—in solidarity.
I hope Ms. Waldman continues to be a gutsy writer. (I have a feeling she will.) And I hope I learn from her example.
My #1 Resolution for 2010 SHOULD BE: Write With More Guts and No Fear.
I think I’ll make a deal with myself. If I promise to write more authentically without regard to what the response will be, perhaps I could watch a FEW episodes of American Idol?
