When I was little, I overheard my Dad talking to the Black-Haired Spaghetti (subject of several previous blogs) about Frank Sinatra—as in “Frank and Mia,” who were in town for a golf tournament.
My Dad said Frank said, “Hell hath no fury like a hooker with a literary agent.” He chuckled at that statement. I wasn’t sure what it meant. Something about fishing maybe?
But now I get it (DUH) and it is funny. And still timely with a slight variation: Hell hath no fury like a hooker with internet access—or access to Gloria Allred—or previous access to Tiger Woods. Whatever…
Frank’s statement is a play on the homily “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” I have no idea who said the original line.
I think Mark Twain’s version would be something like “Hell hath no fury like a writer with a pen warmed in hell”—or something to that effect.
When I read an article in the SJ Mercury News newspaper this week about the most despicable company I have ever had the displeasure of getting reamed by—EchoStar/Dish TV—I thought of hell, fury, and all the writing I directed toward that company with a “pen warmed in hell”—not to mention a number of telephone calls that resulted in screaming matches between me and an EchoStar employee—all in an effort to resolve a dispute.
The article reported that once again EchoStar/Dish TV has lost its appeal and was ordered to pay TiVo vast amounts of money—something like $300 million—for patent infringement. (This lawsuit has been on-going since 2003 and every step of the way EchoStar has lost in the courtroom.)
When it comes to business, nothing makes me happier than to see criminal companies legally forced to pay for their wrongdoings. I take particular personal pleasure seeing EchoStar—who was convicted by a jury of willfully stealing TiVo’s technology—whupped up the side of the head by Lady Justice.
My gripe against EchoStar was nothing as grandiose. It began in 2006 with the purchase of a Dish TV satellite dish from ubid.com. After the dish was received, the buyer was supposed to contact Dish TV to set up service. This is where the nightmare began, as service could never be established. Not one minute of programming was received, yet the monthly bills kept coming and coming. My dispute was about receiving no service and getting billed for it. Dish TV said “service or no service” — I couldn’t cancel the contract.
This face-off lasted for 18 months and ended with me getting ripped off for almost $800. I couldn’t take the headaches (literally) anymore by dealing with the inanities, subterfuge, intimidation, threats, and unethical, illegal, malevolent, mendacious, and deplorable treatment by the EchoStar people and its legal staff, in particular, one Ms. Amberly Cavalier. She gets the opposite of the FuchsiaWoman Honey Pot Trophy for “doing good.” She wins the FW Scum Bucket Award for displaying butt-ugly behavior and lacking a moral code in conducting business.
But better yet: I immortalized her in one of my books.
Percy and the Plan by T.B. Dockter is about being trapped in a horribly scary place called EchoStar.
This is the cover of Book 3 in the Percy Veerance Adventure Series. (And one of these days I will get around to blogging about why these are such terrific books to read—for kids and adults—if I do say so myself!)
Book 3 is about Percy’s adventure in the Universe with his pal Sandy. They’re on their way to take Sandy home to a star called Urth. Along the way they visit a myriad of strange places with unusual inhabitants. Some places are friendly, like PeakStar, run by Benny Diction.
The absolute WORST place in the entire Universe is EchoStar, run by Mally Diction, Benny’s brother. Mally commands an army of the most inhumane humans Who ever existed, called The Hideous Cavaliers. (Gee, wonder where I got that name!)
I won’t give away the ending. But rest assured, EVIL NEVER WINS in my books.
And EVIL never wins in real life either. Oh sure, it can gain a foothold here and there and prosper from time to time. But despicable companies like EchoStar and despicable people like Ms. Cavalier will eventually get their comeuppance. I don’t even have to read about it in the paper. I just know it will happen.
And that basic Rule of the Universe is what keeps me going!
