What’s Wrong with Ashland, Oregon: Too Many Bumbling Bureaucrats

presents the

Ashlandia Gazette

All editorial    All social commentary    All for good

T.G. Buckley-Dockter – Founder; Publisher; Editor-in-Chief; Distribution Manager; Intrepid Reporter; IT Guy; Coffee Girl

MOTTO: We are dedicated to the proposition that all Ashlanders are created equal and deserve to be treated equally and respectfully. We believe you can fight City Hall and other B.S. (Bonehead Stuff).

Issue No. 1   February 7, 2018

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Dear Fellow Citizens:

There’s a new rag in town–the Ashlandia Gazette–an alternative news source. Our mission is to present from a different point of view issues pertinent to our fair hamlet of Ashland. The more info, the more light, the better. There’s no corporate agenda. No creepy executives running the joint. No annoying ads. Just sincere thoughts about what concerns us. And oh yeah, it’s free.

We know you’re busy. We know you have other things to do and think about. So we promise to keep it short and sweet (maybe sometimes a tad salty?) and throw in a little humor to make boring topics more interesting. We appreciate your readership. Without further ado, for your reading enjoyment, here’s our first issue.

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      Once upon a time in a verdant valley snuggled between the Siskiyou and Cascade Mountains, a town named Ashland was founded–a glowing community full of hope and promise of “the good life.” Ashlanders liked to stroll in the park and recreate in their free time. An industrious person formed the Ashland Parks and Recreation Center (APRC). He hired his buddies to help out. Activities were planned; things ran smoothly. Folks were pleased.

However, as the APRC roster changed over the years, the bunch of guys turned into a bunch of BuBu’s (Bumbling Bureaucrats). Quality management slacked off; cognitive thinking skills slackened (giving rise to the term “slacker”). The BuBu’s thought up dumb stuff (like a $230,000 expenditure for an assessment of what to do with Lithia Park).

No oversight or peer review? No adult supervision of the Good Ol’ Boys Club inside City Hall? Or just acceptance that boys will be boys? Which incidentally, became the norm and standard operating procedure.

During this time a female employee toiled for over ten years managing the Senior Center in the APRC. Talented, hardworking, and compassionate, she was well-liked and trusted by her constituents (trust being a vital factor). But her competency and popularity bugged the BuBu’s. Their integrity fell by the wayside when they devised a wicked scheme to dismantle the Senior Center, move the location, cut programs, cut hours, cut staff.

The female employee was aghast. Why destroy an organization that worked so well? She voiced her opposition to the dastardly plan.

The BuBu’s called her a “dissenter” (among other things) and called for a vote. The all-male tribunal voted to give the female employee and her female staff of four the boot. They had originally planned to give them the ax, but didn’t want to be responsible to have to clean up another bloody mess they had created.

The boot action (including four part-timers) received the blessing of the APRC Head Mucky Muck. Other members of City Hall sat by silently trying to figure out if anyone had a moral backbone and might actually object to the egregious terminations. Apparently not.

Then all hell broke loose. Citizens voiced their disgust at the bungling of the Senior Center and mean-spirited treatment towards the loyal and high-functioning employees. Dante crawled out of the grave to create a 10th Circle of Hell: Betrayal by APRC.

The BuBu’s backpedaled to save their faces–which by this time were bright tomato red from embarrassment. And Senior Bob throwing his latest Beefsteak harvest at them. The BuBu’s reversed their previous boneheaded recommendations but refused to reinstate the female employee. Instead they hired an out-of-town consultant to take her place–at more cost and less hours worked.

In addition, the BuBu’s formed a volunteer ad hoc committee to make sense out of a gobbledy-gookish flawed survey in order to make recommendations for the mutated Senior Center.

Editorial Comment #1: Volunteer ad hoc committees are usually comprised of people who mean well. However, when you hire people for free you can’t be picky about applicable qualifications, education, and/or the necessary skill set to ensure that any product (assessment) they turn out is valid. In the end you get what you pay for.

Lastly, the BuBu’s instructed the ad hoc committee that their recommendations could NOT include reinstating the female employee or reconfiguring the Senior Center back to what it was prior to the APRC wrecking ball.

#Time’sUp to wake up and smell the stinky management and idiotic thinking–a formula for failure.

All the while APRC is trying to fix a system that wasn’t broken in the first place, they are spending gobs of money on a recruiter to find a replacement for the perfectly-capable former female employee. They estimate the new-hire manager will be paid a higher salary–even though he or she will not have had the specific hands-on decade-long experience of working with this particular Senior Center and its Seniors.

Consequently, APRC will be paying for the new-hire’s learning curve–which means the level of service will not be up to par for a time. More costs will be incurred for training new part-time employees. Seniors will have to adapt to these changes (not their favorite activity) and begin the trust process all over again.

That, my fellow citizens, is why the BuBu’s deserve their names.

Editorial Comment #2: And why they deserve to be recalled. You can’t make a silk purse out of a pig’s ear. Nor can you spray a can of Lysol on a pile of you-know-what and expect it to smell fragrant. You can try to mask the stench, but the source is still there.

So before our pleasant hamlet turns into Piglet Town, it’s time to drain the sty.

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Issue #2 coming soon. Stay tuned…

Meanwhile, our latest tweet:

Center for Disease Control identifies new virus in the Rogue Valley.

Name: Ashlanditis

Symptoms: BuBu’s brain matter disintegrates. Poor management and denial increases. Female status is diminished.

Prognosis: Deadly

Cure: Recall ’em all!

  • Paula said:

    The word, ‘Ineptocracy’ came to mind! A condition that’s gone viral, is carried and spread by the afflicted — the BuBu’s (love that label). No point telling you to take heart, they’re everywhere. There’s no comfort in numbers. You build a strong case for women taking over the world!!

    Wednesday, February 7, 2018
  • Diane said:

    Oops, I think that I goofed up on my comment, so I am starting a new one, sorry. Interesting, informative article. I am glad that FW is writing again! Keep up the good work! And by the way, what happened to Zaps?

    Monday, February 19, 2018