Ashland Oregon Councilman Stephen Jensen Honored by Cognitive Himpairment Society

If you asked the average person where the most cognitively himpaired males could be found, the answer might be Washington, D.C. Or Florida. Or Texas. Or Hollywood. All of those responses would be incorrect. Recently-published research has revealed that per square foot, the greatest concentration of addle-brained males is in fact in Ashland, Oregon. Here’s confirmation of that scientific finding. …Read more »

KRAP-TV Launches New Reality Show: America’s Sleaziest Lawyer

Mark Twain said: “Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.” He very well could have been referring to the preponderance of lawyers in our government–as he also said, “Lawyers are like other people–fools on the average. But it is easier for an ass to succeed in that trade than any other.” Of course there are terrific lawyers. The kind that make the world better. The kind that help people; not make their lives miserable. Like the three-woman SCOTUS Squad and their pal Stephen, Stacey Abrams, Marcia Clark, Sandra Sawyer, Lawrence Kouns, Elizabeth Warren, Erica Sorosky, Katie Porter, Thomas R. Burke, Randi Weingarten, Kirsten Gillibrand, Joseph Cotchett, Michele Dauber, Kyrsten Sinema, Cory Booker, Deb Haaland, etc. But this article is not about those kinds of lawyers. It’s about the other kind. The kind that society makes the most jokes about. Like: “What do you call a platoon of lawyers in the 9th Circle of Hell buried up to their necks in a frozen sea? A good start.” We sent our reporter to review a live television show about these folks. Warning: It’s a bit saucy. Following is her report. …Read more »

Upcoming Feature Film: From Host Town to Ghost Town – The unfortunate demise of Ashland, Oregon

We at the Outlandia Gazette have been told again and again by citizens that all small towns have problems with city government–that Ashland, Oregon is no different–and there’s nothing you can do about it. We call that small-minded thinking. We think bigger than that. We have identified the problems and solutions. We feel if enough citizens are informed of the self-serving, unintelligent, and harmful actions/mindsets of elected officials and city employees, then change can begin to happen–if enough Ashlanders care enough to instigate change. That’s what our newspaper’s purpose is. To shed light on the entire picture. To let the will of the people decide what kind of town they wish to live in–not a privileged few who dominate the scene. Ashland cannot sustain its present course of viability–either financially or morally. The time to do something is now. …Read more »

What’s Wrong With Major League Baseball? Plenty. Including SFGiants CEO Larry Baer.

Baseball is more than just a game played on a field with a bat and ball. It’s a reflection the American way of life. Gigantic salaries notwithstanding, baseball represents positivity in a world enmeshed in negativity. To the San Francisco Giants Owners, its Board of Directors, Major League Baseball and Commissioner Rob Manfred: Do you really want to mess with the Great Game of Baseball? (Charles Johnson maybe. So don’t listen to him.) Baseball is bigger than just one person. Do the right thing: transparency, accountability, and decency. The fans–who pay everyone’s salaries–thank you. …Read more »