For some maybe. But not for me.
The best thing you can say about having another birthday is that it means you’re not dead yet.
The second best thing about having a birthday means the presence of presents.
The third best thing—there is no third best thing.
I don’t like my birthday because it means I’m getting older. I wouldn’t mind getting older if I didn’t have to look older—like the difference of how you look at 33 and 53. Ugh.
I’ve been lying about my age for so long even the Internet has it wrong. I lie on legal documents on a regular basis. (So sue me!) Ye Ol’ Hubby Man doesn’t know my real age. (Seriously.)
Both my parents have/had the “I’m not old but others in my age group are” syndrome.
When I asked my Dad why he doesn’t attend his WWII 450th Air Force Bomb Group reunions, he said, “They’re just a bunch of OLD guys.”
When I brought my Mom to the Old Folks Home (by far one of the most infinitely sad days of my life), she freaked out, yelling, “They’re OLD people. I’m not OLD!!”
I’m aware that I’m getting older. And I do everything humanly possible to stave off the effects.
Yesterday on NPR was a story about a homebuilder in Florida who designs what is called a “universal house.” This home is built with features that allows the residents to stay put as they age.
For instance, there are no steps or stairs; no doorknobs (handles are used instead); no narrow hallways or doorways (to accommodate a wheelchair if necessary later on). There are special bars, faucets, showers, counters, etc.
The homebuilder said the “universal house” is a hard sell because “people don’t think they’re old and don’t need this kind of home.” He said people think the decade after the one they are in as being old. For instance, people in their 50s think the 60s are old. Likewise even people in their 80s think the 90s are when you get old.
I totally relate.
Therefore, today may be my birthday, but I’M NOT OLD!!
To those folks who think age is just a number—who have no problem loudly and proudly stating their age: You got balls.
Lastly, anyone else having a birthday today? Let me know and I’ll send you a FuchsiaWoman “Bee Yourself” T-shirt. (I think there’s some irony there.) Hope your b.d. is a good one.
P.S. As usual, I take advantage of Rule #2 about birthdays: I BUY MYSELF presents. This year I went a little nutty at Talbot’s online sale—70% off some items! (more on that later) and added to my growing collection of Not Your Daughter’s Jeans. OK, maybe they are old lady jeans, but they do scrunch in Frankie the belly.
Because even people who are NOT OLD still need a few tricks up their sleeve. Or their trousers?
To my brother Gary: The only one of my kinfolk who reads my blogs. I guess sharing MY birthday cake with him all those years growing up has paid off!
I like birthdays because I get presents. You have to get SOMETHING to make up for getting older!