Vanity Project Implodes. Two Trees Survive.

presents the

Outlandia Gazette

T.G. Buckley-Dockter – Founder; Publisher; Editor-in-Chief; Distribution Manager; Intrepid Reporter; IT Guy; Coffee Girl

MOTTO: Presenting our Truth with a capital 'T.'  
Vero Nihil Verius. Nothing is truer than truth.

All editorial    All social commentary    All for the common good

Issue Number 19    February 2019

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A recent survey of 100% of humans worldwide revealed that 99.9% think killing a healthy tree that is vital to an ecosystem is either grotesque, insane, or blasphemous. The other .1% work for Ashland, Oregon’s City Hall and the Parks & Recreation Department.

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From a story in the Ashland Tidings: “Japanese Garden plan suspended.” Our translation: Another debacle at the hands of BuBu (Bumbling Bureaucrat) Michael Black (over-paid head mucky-muck of Parks & Recreation).

It’s official. Ashland is now living in the Age of Blackian Debacles. How many have there been? Let us count the ways (according to our sources):

1. Deciding to move the Senior Center operations to The Grove building. After swift public disapproval, back-pedaled just as swiftly to deny any such notion was in the works.
2. Terminating the employment of a long-time, highly productive, female Senior Center Manager (and laying-off her staff of four females) for a bogus reason. Devoid of professionalism (ask him about the circumstances involved on the day he fired the Manger. Editorial comment: totally appalling.) and legality (resulting in a lawsuit).
3. Cultivating non-harmonious working relationships with two female colleagues (one quit; one still there).
4. Creating a culture of fear that to express a differing opinion or not go along with the good ol’ boys network could result in losing one’s job.
5. Contributing to the white male patriarchal outdated mindset that has corroded Ashland’s City Hall.

And now Ashland is subjected to another debacle as big as the Douglas fir trees that Mr. Black advocated chopping down. In a nutshell, a man approached Mr. Black with the idea of altering the pre-existing Japanese Garden in Lithia Park to make it “authentic.” This request came with a $1.2 million check. Mr. Black’s response was akin to:

“Oh boy, lookee what I got! Lookee what I can do to promote me! Who cares what the rest of Ashland wants!”

Mr. Black failed to realize once again that he works for the citizens of Ashland. He is a public servant. His personal agenda (using his position to feed his hunger for power?) is not relevant. Telling people what they want instead of asking them what they want is bad for business. And government. Haven’t we seen this behavior lately? How’s that working out?

Collaboration is an essential skill. Autocratic tendencies are unproductive and unsagacious*. (See Mark Twain quote below.) Maybe that’s the norm in Grants Pass. Or Cottonwood Heights, Utah. But in a “City of Peace” or a “progressive” town or in any thriving community, that won’t fly. Destroying healthy and valuable Trees for a vanity project is contrary to Ashland values.

Rebecca Solnit in her terrific book Men Explain Things to Me (2014) coined a phrase about men trying to silence and punish others for “claiming their voice, power and the right to participate.” She calls it “Welcome to Manistan.”

Which by the way, is exactly what happened in the Senior Center Debacle. If the real facts had been articulated to the citizenry of Ashland, the vote to recall the three perpetrators would have swung the other way.

Which leads to another instance of Manistan-ness in Ashland: A letter to The Tidings by Doug M. criticizing Susanne S. for her opinion about the Japanese Garden Debacle. In a subsequent letter Avram C. debunked Doug’s comments. Here’s more debunking:

Doug’s statement:

“Great ideas don’t always pop out of the collective mind. If the criteria for all cultural, artistic, and technological progress was that it needs to come out of public opinion, then we might well still be living in caves…”

This is faulty logic. First of all, factors such as tools, language, teeth, natural selection, genes, farming, the formation of interdependent communities, etc. had more to do with humans evolving out of caves than any one particular idea.

Doug C.’s Steve Jobs analogy is also weak. Yes, he was the idea man. But he was not the builder. He had hundreds (thousands?) of employees who did that for him and made it possible for Jobs’ ideas to be fully realized. Jobs was never the 100% stock holder of Apple. He was responsible to his shareholders–like a civil servant being responsible to the public. Furthermore, Apple’s motto is “Think Different.” Not “Do it this way or else!”

To even mention Michael Black in the same context–for any reason–as Steve Jobs is ludicrous. As far as Black being any kind of visionary, marketing genius, management maverick, or kick-ass entrepreneur, he has even less talent than one of Jobs’ toenail clippings.

The opposition to the Japanese Garden remodel was not due to the value of the idea itself. It was due to:

The lack of input from The People about whether or not they wanted Lithia Park altered in such a substantial way. They pay for Lithia Park with their property taxes. They should be involved in major decisions regarding it.

The atrocity of killing two majestic Trees just to make a garden “authentic.” Were any Ashlanders contacted for their input? Why couldn’t a compromise be reached?  If you think a Japanese Garden could be an independent tourist destination, why wouldn’t you want to compromise?

Has anyone in Parks & Rec taken Marketing 101? If you want to succeed in a highly competitive market like tourism, and you are not the biggest attraction (Disney World, the Eiffel Tower) you need to differentiate. You need to go niche. Tourists could have the option of going to Portland’s authentic Japanese Garden. Or they go go to Ashland’s “Authentic Japanese Garden Plus Two.” Do you think tourists would be offended because two Trees remained alive and were included as part of the garden? Would their garden experience be any less meaningful?

It was Michael Black’s handling of this idea that went awry. He implemented his ‘my way or the highway’ management style and yet again tried to shove something down the collective throats of Ashlanders. The fact that Black didn’t anticipate the blowback from his boneheaded thinking and heavy-handed approach shows he doesn’t know The People he is supposed to serve.

Black has been on the job for many years. His learning curve ended long ago. Either he doesn’t care what Ashlanders think or he is not savvy enough to grasp their mindset. How much angst and anger did he cause? How many hopes were elevated and how many hopes were dashed? How much cumulative time, energy, and resources did he waste? How does this guy get to keep his job? Does it make any sense that the guy in charge of preserving parks doesn’t give a hoot about Trees?

In baseball Black would be called out on strikes (most likely whiffing). In the business world he would be out on his ear. In an era of enlightened thinking he would be vilified. But instead, in Ashland’s City Hall he is coddled and protected. After all, boys will be boys!

In her letter Susanne S. said to hold Black accountable. He deserves more than being held accountable. He deserves to be terminated–as unceremoniously and undignified as the way he fired the Senior Center Manager and her staff–including a snatching of his keys and a perp walk out the front door.

This time the firing would be warranted.

Which brings up another necessary debunking of Doug M.’s letter about Susanne S.’s letter. His comment:

“I believe she is still smarting over Black and the parks commissioners who implemented major changes at the Senior Center…that were not to her liking…do not conflate the Senior Center and the new Japanese Garden…it is a disservice…”

First of all, the two are absolutely conflated. Both are prime examples of Black’s poor management skills and poor cognitive abilities.

Secondly, it is NOT a disservice to point out idiocy where one sees it. It’s actually a valuable service.

Thirdly, Dougie Wougie Puddin’ Head Pie: Your belief that you get to state what you think Susanne S. (or anyone else) is thinking is arrogant, obnoxious, and stupid. Are you a board-certified psychiatrist living inside her head with a note pad and a couch? Have you ever had a conversation with her? Have you ever met her? Or does she represent an amalgam of your basic attitude toward women? In which case, that would make your thinking also sexist.

Lastly, the “misconception” of which you speak is not Susanne’s. It is yours. Your thinking is NOT an example of the “forward-thinking…in our city” that you mention. But rather with its patriarchal and demeaning slant, it is emblematic of “Welcome to Manistan!”

Back to Black.

In another letter in The Tidings, Mary G. she says to cut out the “personal attacks.” Ughie Dougie might say she’s “smarting” because she’s related to someone who has been on the receiving end of criticism. Like in this newspaper. Or the letter from Doyle H. in The Tidings who said about the proponents of the Japanese Garden upgrade:

“Write down the names of the clowns who voted for the ‘harvesting’ and vote ’em the hell out next election.”

Well said! Great letter, by the way. Loved the “bamboozled” part.

But here’s the deal about expressing one’s opinion about the actions of others. The very essence of pointing out someone’s folly makes it personal. You can’t get around it. You also can’t get around calling out stupid/harmful/insane actions just by calling them something more euphemistically pleasing.

As Mark Twain* said:

“Don’t use a five dollar word when a fifty-cent word will do.”

Which is better?

“He’s cerebrally atrophied.”

Or:

“He’s frontal lobe challenged.” 

Or:

“He’s anencephalous.”

Or:

“He’s dumb.”

Or more literary:

“He’s as dim as a two-watt bulb.”

You be the judge. Either way, it all means the same thing.

In conclusion, Ashland’s City Hall needs to wake up and smell the Douglas Fir Trees.

That’s the fragrance of beauty. Of tranquility. Of renewal. Of harmony. Of connection to nature.

Which by the way is the opposite of the stink of entitlement, excess, and those with a callous disregard for Trees.

 

Also smelly: Proponents of the hefty price tag for new City Hall accommodations to house over-paid, under-compassioned, budgetarily inept bureaucrats–while claiming it is justified for the “growth” of Ashland–whose population is declining. The only things that are growing are the unnecessary size of bureaucracy and BuBu egos.

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P.S. Two Thank You’s:

1.) To Michael Black for providing one of the top three hilarious remarks by an Ashland BuBu that we at the Outlandia Gazette get such a kick out of:

“The recall election is a citizenship test” and “It is the death sentence of electoral politics…” – Mayor John Stromberg

“The recall election was one of Ashland’s darkest days.” – Councilperson Rich Rosenthal

“You have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.” – Michael Black about chopping down two vibrant, ecosystem-friendly trees in the name of promoting two self-oriented agendas (his and the guy with the checkbook).

2.) To people who hold these views:

“The trees encountered on a country stroll

Reveal a lot about that country’s soul…

A culture is no better than its woods.”

– W. H. Auden

 

” Of all man’s works of art, a cathedral is greatest. A vast and majestic tree is greater than that.” – Henry Ward Beecher

 

“A hypocrite is the kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree, then mount the stump and make a speech for conservation.” – Adalai Stevenson

 

“This oak tree and me, we’re made of the same stuff. But deep down, at the molecular heart of life, we’re essentially identical to trees.” – Carl Sagan

 

“It is not so much for its beauty that the forest makes a claim upon men’s hearts, as for that subtle something, that quality of air, that emanation from old trees, that so wonderfully changes and renews a weary spirit.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

 

“For in the true nature of things, if we rightly consider, every green tree is far more glorious than if it were made of gold and silver.” – Martin Luther

 

“Trees are poems that Earth writes upon the sky. We fell them down and turn them into paper, that we may record our emptiness.” – Kahil Gibran

 

“One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.” – John Muir (So whacking a Tree is like whacking wacky Auntie Laurel!)

 

“To be poor and without trees is to be the most starved human being in the world. To be poor and have trees is to be completely rich in ways that money can never buy.” – Clariss Pinkola Estes

 

“The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

“A grove of giant redwoods or sequoias should be kept just as we keep a great and beautiful cathedral.” – Theodore Roosevelt

 

Our favorite. People who understand this do not take a buzz saw to the awesome (in the true sense of the word) beings that are Trees.

“I love Nature partly because she is not man; but a retreat from him. None of his institutions control or pervade her. There a different kind of right prevails. In her midst I can be glad with an entire gladness. If this world were all man, I could not stretch myself; I should lose all hope. He is constraint. She is freedom to me. He makes me wish for another world. She makes me content with this one.” – Henry David Thoreau

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May nature fill all your days.