Ashland’s Great Carrot Conspiracy: What the heck are these icky orange sticks doing in a salad?

City government is a tricky business–because it gets political; gets personal; gets out of whack. Ashland, Oregon is no exception. We’ve said it before and are repeating it again: Ashland’s City Hall is controlled by a good-ol’-boys network. This mentality of clinging to the old-thinking white male hierarchy is not just outdated and out of touch, but in these turbulent times, also harmful. To survive as the vibrant, unique, culturally varied, naturally beautiful, trying to be progressive and trying to peaceful town that it is, Ashland must change its old ways and join modern times. Because frankly, #TimesUp. …Read more »

What’s Wrong With Major League Baseball? Plenty. Including SFGiants CEO Larry Baer.

Baseball is more than just a game played on a field with a bat and ball. It’s a reflection the American way of life. Gigantic salaries notwithstanding, baseball represents positivity in a world enmeshed in negativity. To the San Francisco Giants Owners, its Board of Directors, Major League Baseball and Commissioner Rob Manfred: Do you really want to mess with the Great Game of Baseball? (Charles Johnson maybe. So don’t listen to him.) Baseball is bigger than just one person. Do the right thing: transparency, accountability, and decency. The fans–who pay everyone’s salaries–thank you. …Read more »

Vanity Project Implodes. Two Trees Survive.

The glory of trees is not just in their beauty. It is their vital contribution to life on Earth. If you like to breathe oxygen you need Trees. Among other valuable properties, Trees combat climate change, clean the air, provide a habitat for wildlife. Trees are awesome! What is not awesome but rather abhorrent is ordering the execution of a healthy tree. That would be Parks & Rec King Michael Black’s edict. Oh wait, he’s not royalty. But rather a frontal lobe challenged usurper. Following is an editorial why Michael Black must go. …Read more »

The Gazette Has a New Name. Like a rose by any other name still smells as sweet!

The Ashlandia Gazette is headed in a more outward direction, expanding our focus beyond what’s going on outside our front door to include anything that catches our interest in the big ol’ world out there. We feel we need to rename our illustrious rag sheet to: 1) Better encompass this outsized endeavor. 2) Better describe our outlandish writing style. 3) Better illuminate our outspoken opinions. Henceforth, we give you the Outlandia Gazette! …Read more »

Ashlandia Gazette Year in Review – A Honey and Pickle Perspective

We at the Gazette are privileged to have a guest commentator, St. Pickleas, show us how to evaluate the events of this year. St. Pick is the lesser-known but equally important brother of St. Nicholas. He generously allowed us to use his Honey Pot and Sour Pickle Awards to shine a light on 2018–who and what deserves praise and what deserves criticism. And if you’ve read previous issues, you know we love to hammer the hoopleheads. Hope we have more honey than pickles in the New Year. Cheers! …Read more »

Ignominious Incognito Inaugural Ball – Ashland City Hall Cronies Celebrate Midterm Elections

In Ashland, Oregon our intrepid reporter covered the midterm election party at the Baloney Bar and Grill–a private gala masquerade ball sponsored by City Hall. BuBu’s (Bumbling Bureaucrats) couldn’t suppress their glee over the re-election of some of their ilk. Nor could they repress their true identities. Our reporter uncovered the real peeps behind the elaborate disguises; their real views about city politics; their real plans for Ashland’s future. Following is her report. …Read more »

Vote NO on Electing Pumpkin Head Politicians in Ashland, Oregon

Tuesday, November 6, 2018 will be a historic day all across the U.S. It’s the day we Americans speak our minds through the ballot box. We will decide whether we approve of the direction our elected officials are taking us. Or if we instead want a course change. The same is true in Ashland, Oregon. We at the Outlandia Gazette encourage everyone to vote. Practice democracy as it was intended. Let your voice be heard. YAY America! …Read more »

Major League Baseball Is In Trouble When It Celebrates Cheating

We at the Ashlandia Gazette have never been more weirded out by the dishonest shenanigans of two institutions we have been dedicated fans of for over twenty years: The San Francisco Giants and USA Today newspaper. The SF Giants chose to retire the jersey of a flagrant cheater (performance enhancing drug user). USA Today chose to sing the praises of this cheater and applaud the celebration. A sad day for the Great Game of Baseball. A sad day for America. …Read more »

Small Thinking Never Leads to Big Things – A Lesson for Ashland, Oregon

To keep the brain functioning it needs glucose–supplied by eating food. Similarly, to operate at its maximum ability, the brain needs daily optimal nourishment–a meal of BIG thoughts. Yummy! Thinking SMALL inhibits the brain. Thinking BIG allows for a brainstorm of creativity, innovation, and productivity. These can improve oneself; one’s community; and the entire world. …Read more »

Censorship Alive and Well in Ashland Oregon – Library Bans This Newspaper

The Ashland Public Library, part of Jackson County Library Services, displays two newsletters in the periodical section. One is a monthly issue from the Parks and Recreation Department and the other is a monthly publication from the Rogue Valley Audubon Society. The Ashlandia Gazette is an independent newspaper, written in editorial form about issues concerning Ashland. The library has BANNED the Ashlandia Gazette from being displayed. Following is our response to this form of censorship. …Read more »