What Fresh Hell Is This? More blatherings from over-the-hill politicians in Ashland, Oregon.

Toni Buckley-Dockter – Founder; Publisher; Editor-in-Chief; Distribution Manager; Intrepid Reporter; IT Guy; Coffee Girl

email: fwepub@aol.com

MOTTO: When telling the truth is a revolutionary act. 

All editorial    All social commentary    All for the common good
Issue Number 29  –  May 2020

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(Part 1 of a 4-part Series)

Covid-19. The sky-rocketing unemployment rate. Killer hornets. No MLB games. Dr. Debra’s latest scarf selection.

Don’t we have enough to worry about already?

Apparently not.

Not when there’s an avalanche of nonsensical arguments concerning passing or not passing bonds in the City of Ashland, Oregon.

And believe me, like the Corona Virus, the nonsense is rampant. And deadly, too–among out-of-touch politicians dying to get their names into print–dying to relive their Ashlandia glory days–dying to procure any kind of recognition to pretend they are still a Big Cheese in this small town.

Oh they’re Big Cheeses all right. The kind that stink up the joint!

There are so many BuBu’s (Bumbling Bureaucrats) in the City of Ashland it’s hard to know where to begin in outing all the nonsense they spew. (BTW, the Outlandia Gazette has published numerous articles about this unfortunate situation. Check the archives.)

But I’ll start with the low-hanging fruit: Peter Buckley–retired State of Oregon Rep for the Ashland area. All I can say is, “Dude, what were you thinking hitching your reputation to the Cathy Shaw Wagon of Flimflammery?”

The blurb in the Voters’ Pamphlet that you signed along with the flimflam woman is a fresh hell of idiocy–lacking in intellectual content and logical thought. There is something stupid in every paragraph.

Paragraph 1:

Calling a City Hall building “social infrastucture” is ludicrous. Who the heck socializes at City Hall? When is the last time you heard someone say:

“Let’s go hang out at City Hall!”

“City Hall is such a fun place to socialize!”

“Those City Hall peeps were so glad I dropped by to shoot the breeze!”

Paragraph 2:

Saying “social infrastructure is the glue that binds communities together” is absurd. What is a real social construct is people–and their friendly, compassionate personalities and actions.

What binds a community together are shared values; support for the town’s economic health; and concern for the safety and welfare of all citizens. Not a building that houses bureaucrats. (Over-paid and over-staffed to boot.)

Reality check: If there was no city hall building whatsoever and city hall workings operated out of employees’ individual homes (like the City is being run now), there is NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON in the City of Ashland who would develop a feeling of isolation over this situation. Yeesh. Faulty logic at its worst.

Likewise in the following sentence from Paragraph 3:

“People forge ties in communities that have healthy social infrastructures”… (as opposed to unhealthy?)…that somehow make the community “more resilient to both economic downturns and natural disasters…”

HUH? Who writes this weirdness? Rod Serling?

So Ashlanders who have lost their jobs or businesses are appeased or comforted because Ashland has buildings? Parks? A swimming pool? A library? A “social infrastructure” also known as a drinking fountain?

So when a natural disaster rages through town (like a wildfire) it won’t be so disastrous because Ashland has a la-ti-da city hall structure?

So much crap it makes a pig sty look pristine.

Paragraph 4:

Stating that social infrastructure is “the cornerstone of our robust and involved electorate” is total gobbledygook.

First, the terms “robust” and “involved” are highly debatable. What percent of the population is aware of city hall doings? (From my experience that percent is very low.)

What percent even bother to vote? Again, on the low side.

Second, what citizens are robustly involved with is putting a roof over their heads and food on the table. Which year after year becomes increasingly more difficult to do in Ashland, Oregon.

Paragraph 5:

The fact that it takes four years to discuss and decide what to do about the city hall building is the perfect example of BuBu (Bumbling Bureaucrat) incompetency and piss-poor leadership.

Paragraph 6 (and in my opinion the stupidest one of all) with the following sentence:

“Maintaining a civic presence in the downtown is important to our businesses and presents an authentic city to visitors.”

Defies logic with two non sequiturs:

1. There is zero correlation between the success of an Ashland business and the location of City Hall.

Talk to the small business owners in Ashland. They don’t care where City Hall is located–because NO ONE travels to a city to see what its City Hall looks like. Businesses do care if Ashland has maintained a real on-going economic development program. Which it hasn’t.

Ashland Economic Dept. and Chamber of Commerce Motto: “As long as the Oregon Shakespeare Festival is doing fine, we’re OK.” Mission accomplished! Let’s go cash those paychecks!

2. There is zero correlation between a visitor to Ashland (or a resident for that matter) NOT seeing a downtown-located city hall and then thinking, “Oh my God, Ashland is not an authentic city. Quick, Martha, pack up the kids. We’re headed to Medford!”

The stupidity of the arguments in this entire blurb makes me wonder how stupid you and the flimflam woman think Ashlanders are? Or as Forest Gump would say, “Stupid is as stupid does”–so this blurb is the best effort one can expect from non-intelligent individuals?

Lastly, I’ve never met you, Mr. Buckley, so I have no opinion of you personally. But I did see you once at a State-of-the-City shindig at Lark’s where you were presented with some kind of appreciation award (January 2017 maybe?).

This was also the same event where Mayor John Stromberg had the gall to compliment the “spirit of the Women’s March” in a town that fired five women willy-nilly that ended up costing the city beaucoup bucks in a lawsuit and said mayor supported the actions of the men involved in this travesty. (Don’t get me started…already documented in archived blogs.)

And the same event where Councilperson Rich Rosenthal praised City Attorney David Lohman and his legal expertise saying something like the City of Ashland was so lucky to get this guy because he could be earning a whole lot more money in private practice. And where said attorney doesn’t even know that firing a whistle-blower is a federal offense! Which also cost the city a boatload of money. (Any lawyer who made this mistake in a private practice would have been out the door faster than President Pinesol scampering away from truth-seeking journalists.)

So before you go patting yourself on the back for this achievement, consider the source. Just sayin”…

Your signature on this pamphlet blurb, Mr. Buckley, will be what you are remembered for. This is your swan song; your legacy: NOT being a smart guy–as you clearly don’t get the average Ashlander mindset and don’t know when to quietly fade away–as all past-their-prime politicians should do.

Unless… you, and I’m guessing the flimflam woman, and other assorted BuBu’s (past and present) are hoping to get statues of themselves with their ossified heads installed in Lithia Park and then renaming it Jurassic Park.

Now there’s an idea for “social infrastruture”–tourists and residents flocking to a garden of human dinosaurs–who thankfully became extinct due to their boneheaded thinking.

Think of the photo opportunities! Is that Mayor Stromberg or Bozo Brontosaurus? Rich Rosenthal or Stumpy Stegosaurus? Cathy Shaw or Tillie Tyrantosaurus?

Of course the statues must be chopped down after 100 years–just as the fir trees in the non-authentic Japanese Garden were originally slated to suffer the same fate.

In the meantime, it matters not one iota to the financial health of a city nor to civic pride nor to the well-being of the citizenry where the holy heck city hall is located or what the building looks like. The purpose of a city hall is to run the city. This can happen anywhere–including inside a bunch of quonset huts stuck in the Bi-Mart parking lot or in tents pitched on the Senior Center lawn.

Which sounds like a much better idea to me than erecting the Palace of Versailles in the downtown plaza. Even for the low, low price of $8.2 million.

Which is why I’m voting HELL NO on the fresh hell that is Measure 15-193.

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Next up, Part 2: An evisceration of Mayor Stromberg’s blurb in the Voters’ Pamphlet.

Part 3: An evisceration of the article in The Tidings by the flimflam woman–starting with the idiotic first sentence: “Have you ever wondered why Ashland is so special?” Special how? Special says who? Special by what standards? Here we go again…

Part 4: Outing myself as the individual who sent a corporate check to ACES (Ashland Citizens for Economic Sustainability). I will debunk the misinformation (bold-faced lies?) that I am an Ashland interloper or a tea-party member or Republican or the reincarnation of Phyllis Schlafly.

Stay tuned?

But definitely stay safe. Stay healthy. Stay home!

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